HOUSE NO. 2 HAS EVERYTHING YOU NEED, DEBRA!
1. First of all, these people want A LOT of things on a tiny budget. Let’s be reasonable, folks!
2. And they’re always surprised that they have to compromise on things.
3. When the couple wants something so specific it almost doesn’t seem real.
4. No one can ever agree on a style of house, when in the end DOESN’T EVEN REALLY MATTER WHILE THEY’RE MAKING THEIR DECISION.
5. Everyone seems to have a vendetta against carpet.
6. When the house is perfect and under budget, but they’re bothered by things they could literally fix in two seconds.
7. And they complain about small things they can fix on their own.
8. Or when someone even mentions paint color. YOU. CAN. CHANGE. THAT!
9. When the couple says they desperately want to live in the city but they despise street noise. Are you fucking kidding me?
10. How every single damn person on the show is obsessed with granite. WHAT’S THE DEAL?!
11. When the house is literally perfect… “but it doesn’t have a pool.”
12. How every husband on the show seems to need a “man cave.” C’mon, dude. Sit in the living room.
13. When they use architectural lingo that they clearly looked up and memorized for the show.
14. When they can’t have stairs because they have a toddler. They’ll grow up and learn how to navigate stairs! Get a gate!!!
15. All of the people who have a $1 million budget. WHERE ARE YOU GETTING THIS MONEY?
16. When the couple can’t afford their preferred neighborhood, so the realtor finds them a house in the next town over and IT ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR THEM.
17. When a 15-minute drive to work from their preferred neighborhood is “too long of a commute.”
18. Every damn time the realtor shows the master closet and the wife says, “Where are you going to put your clothes honey?” ENOUGH!
19. When they claim they want a fixer-upper, but it’s soon quite clear that painting is all they’re willing to take on.
20. Whenever someone tags along for the hunt who isn’t even going to live in the house, and they complain about EVERYTHING.
21. The way the couples talk to each other throughout each episode makes you wonder how — well, IF — they’re still together.
22. Three words: Open floor plan.
23. When they want a new construction home, but refuse to buy if it is near a construction zone.
24. The vegetable chopping or charcuterie scene at the end. IS THIS HOW YOU GUYS CHRISTEN YOUR NEW HOME? WITH A VEGGIE SACRIFICE?
25. Every time someone says they need “space to entertain.” How do you know and like enough people to constantly have them over?
26. And finally, how every couple has a two-second conversation and immediately agrees on the house they want. Y’ALL AREN’T GONNA DEBATE?!
SO. MUCH. FRUSTRATION.